Is it just me, or am I being rude?
This summer, I stayed with my 60 year old grandmother in her apartment in upper Michigan, since I am 16. This whole summer, the temperature has not risen above 80 degrees, yet she still constantly wants me to go to the beach with her.
To me, the idea of sitting along a cold beach with my seemingly deaf grandmother is not fun. I feel terrible refusing to go with her, but I see no point in doing it because the water is far too cold to be in. Each time I refuse to go, she ends up guilting me into doing it, which evokes a very crast and annoyed attitude out of me which I am not proud of having. This feeling of dread is picked up by her and she calls me a "fun-ruiner". Since I can’t get into the water, I sit on the shore and read for 5 hours.
Obviously I am too old to be staying with my grandmother, but her apartment is the only place I am capable of staying at in my summer long vacation. All I really want to do is talk to my friends online from home, a more urban environment. Don’t get me wrong, I like going to beach’s and stuff, but to a cold, freezing one?
Am I being rude by not going with her?
P.S I have no choice in whether or not I spend my summer here.
No, seriously, you could get hypothermia from this water, it’s impossible to swim in. My grandmother is a bit loony as well, in the sense she does things that make no sense, like spend $30 on a rug when she is on welfare.
If you have no choice, then you need to handle the situation differently—why not suggesting something different—the museum, show, mall, etc, but don’t be rude to grandma you only spend the summer with her and if something would happen to her, you will feel awful bad for not treating her differently. Make the best of the situation.
December 17th, 2009 at 9:23 pm
tell her its to damn cold and yall should go to the mall or out to lunch or something, or tell her ur getting sick lol
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December 17th, 2009 at 9:44 pm
yeah. dude get in the water, adjust to the temperature, and have a blasttt.
she’ll remember all the fun you had with her, and the memories will mean a lot
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December 17th, 2009 at 9:56 pm
I think that you should spend as much time with your grandmother as you can. I lost my granny to pancreatic cancer when I was nine years old. If I could have her back I would do anything she wanted to do even if it annoyed me. You should be thankful!
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December 17th, 2009 at 10:04 pm
Tell her that you’d rather not go. She needs to think of your wants. Of course, go with her every once in a while but not every day. You’re not really being rude you just would rather stay home and talk to your friends.
One day she won’t be there and you’ll wish you would’ve spent that quality time with her =)
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December 17th, 2009 at 10:30 pm
You’re not necessarily being rude. It’s understandable. I wish I had my grandparents close to me to spend time with them. But of course, going to the beach all the time may get boring after a while. First, I would suggest to go somewhere else with her. Maybe you guys could go do other fun stuff together. What ever it is, trust me, one day when you’re older you’re going to look back and say "I really miss those days when I would go to the beach with my grandma." She won’t be here forever, so enjoy spending time with her and getting to know all about her and secondly, just really try to change your attitude and mind frame about it. The summer won’t last much longer and really, spending time with your grandma is something that you’ll cherish as an adult. Make the most of it.
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December 17th, 2009 at 10:58 pm
You are being rude, but she is being difficult.
My grandma is the same. She guilts me into going for walks with her, and the last time she did this I was in such a bad mood at having been dragged away from MSN that she decided to kiss me in front of a busy road because she thought this would cheer me up. Unsurprisingly I’ve not been as polite as I should be since lol
I guess you’ll just have to live with it. Say you have work to do every now and then if you really can’t be bothered to go
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December 17th, 2009 at 11:23 pm
Not knowing more than you posted here, perhaps your grandmother wants to do things she enjoys while spending time with you. Sounds like if you were left to your own devices you’d have your head in a computer all day and not even acknowledge she exists. She enjoys going to the beach, and she now has a guest staying over who can share it with her. You said "all I really want to do", which is probably the crux of the matter. It’s "I want". For whatever reason, your grandmother is offering you a place to stay, since you can’t be anywhere else. Is it too much to ask to spend SOME of that time making her happy? Work out a compromise with her. And bear in mind, chilly or not, sitting in the sun when possible when you live up North is actually very good for you. Since she’s sixty, building up her Vit. D through sunlight exposure is very important. You’re only sixteen, but it’s important for you, too. Almost everyone in this country is D-deficient, and especially if you live up north. Take some things along to amuse yourself with. Have conversations with your gram. Find something positive out of the experience. You may find that you treasure these times later in your life.
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December 17th, 2009 at 11:49 pm
If you have no choice, then you need to handle the situation differently—why not suggesting something different—the museum, show, mall, etc, but don’t be rude to grandma you only spend the summer with her and if something would happen to her, you will feel awful bad for not treating her differently. Make the best of the situation.
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December 18th, 2009 at 12:33 am
I really wouldnt say your being rude but a normal 16 year old. The beach is fun but your there on your summer vacation spending time with her she should do things that you like to do to. Maybe going to beach dont have to be all about the cold water. Take a picnic basket. Treasure the time that you do have cause time goes by so fast and one day you will pray to here her voice annoying you to go to the beach. But I definatly can understand your 16 you want to be doing things with your friends or doing absolutly nothing!!!! lol
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December 18th, 2009 at 12:52 am
Holden,
To answer your question, I don’t think you’re being rude. Explain that eighty degrees is cold for you. Eighty degrees may not seem cold to your grandmother, because her body is probably used to that temperature. My home town is Utica, NY. I got used to swimming when it was eighty degrees. My body adjusted to that temperature. I now live in Dallas, TX. It rarely gets below 98 degrees during the summer. I would freeze if I had to go swimming when it was 80 degrees, because my body is no longer used to cold weather.
Is there any possibility of compromising with your grandmother? For example, I’ll go to the beach with you once a week if you will do [insert your favorite activity] with me once a week.
Sean
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December 18th, 2009 at 1:05 am
grandma forgot you are not a boy anymore. you have your other things you want to do other than going on the beach all the time. Tell her you want to do something else then going to the beach. besides it’s too cold. she might get sick too. If a company is what she needs, you can go somewhere else but the beach with her. she should excuse you from having different interests than hers. you maybe a bit rude but she should not force if you don’t want to go . .
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